Over Christmas time it is easy to lose our way, to become so focused on finding presents, cooking food, shopping in the cold and just generally doing absolutely everything. All this stress can lead us to neglect ourselves which I have written a post about and you can read this HERE. Sometimes however our relationships can suffer, its easier to forget about those around us whilst we are trying to do everything. This post is dedicated to dates ideas and useful tips and tricks you can use to help maximise the time you have together.
I touched on carving out time in THIS post regarding looking after yourself, this practice can be equally important when nurturing a relationship, I think sometimes we can get a little lost along our journey into togetherness, we are fighting to not lose our own identity but also fighting to for our soul mates. I think there is room for ourselves and for our loved ones, so scheduling time to be with them is a necessity.
Sit down together and see when you both have free, if you have no time then make it, is going to an extra gym session more important than nurturing love? Find the time to connect, you will be glad you did.
Mix Date Night With Christmas
Putting up the decorations, shopping for presents and food, cooking, this is all fun stuff. It can be stressful to do all of this on our own, so why not mix it up with a date night, you can make it amazingly fun too. A trip out to the shops followed by a meal or a drink out and a chat, making some decorations together, finding recipes for Christmas day and prepping all the yummy food together the night before. You can make it fun with a little wine, some great nibbles and some background music. Ask what each other want to do over Christmas, discuss the food on the day and discuss options, compromise and agree, don’t just shoot each other’s suggestions down. Connect and have fun.
Not only are you getting an extra pair of hands during a busy and stressful season, sharing some of the burdens, but your having fun with each other and listening to each other wants. A great building exercise.
Cook A Meal Together
Sometimes planning to cook a meal on a date night can fall to one person, this isn’t really the point of date night, the point is to spend time together, talk and connect. So share the experience, plan what you want to cook, buy the ingredients together, be in the kitchen together cooking and laughing. Don’t get stressed out if your sous chef has cut up the carrots too small or big, just make it work in the recipe anyway. Don’t criticise suggestions, add them in.
This is a great way to get excited for date night together and for an extended period of time, make this time together meaningful.
Ask Get To Know Questions
When we have been with our partners for 15 years we often think we know then inside and out, and whilst we do there is still more to learn, as we as individuals grow and evolve we develop new senses of self, new likes and dislikes, asking pointed questions can reveal answers we never really knew. Continually learning about our partners, our relationship together, how we, they and us evolve is important, that way you can evolve together.
Google has huge lists of getting to know your partner questions, why not pick a list and every so often ask a different question, reveal your answer to them, be surprised or just confirm, never judge and always listen.
Have A Bath Or Shower Together
This can be wonderful and if you really are lacking in time why not pop in the shower with your partner of a morning or evening, touch each other, kiss under the flowing water 10 minutes under the flow of hot water can be all you need to add a little spark. Or if you have the time and a bath, take on together, or chat whilst one is in the tub, light candles, have some expensive truffles, a glass of wine. Just delightful.
Take A Day Off Together
Why not take a holiday from work for a day and be together, have a lie-in, eat breakfast in bed, make love, go for a walk or wander around the shop, make a beautiful meal and just enjoy each other’s company.
Put Yourselves In Their Shoes
It’s effortless to complain about each other on a daily basis, he does this, she doesn’t do that, well instead of complaining put yourselves in each other’s shoes. This exercise can be done together or apart. Understanding how busy and stressful the other person is, understanding their worries, what they must do on a daily basis, how tired and fraught they are by the end of the day. This can help with the little things too, it’s easy to complain about socks on the floor, it’s easy to think the washing basket is just there, but after a long hard day that may be the least of their concerns. Just remember nobody is perfect, for all the complains we may have, they probably have a list equally as long. So quit complaining and start appreciating.
Get Over The Little Things
Like we have just touched on above don’t sweat the small things, yes you have to pick up someone else’s socks, but if you’re going to do it anyway why stress yourself out and then proceed to complain about something you have chosen to do. Or better still don’t sweat it, in the grand scheme of your life are socks on the floor that big of a deal?
If you ever hear yourself saying I always have to do this or I always have to do that. Once you have taken the time to understand the sheer amount of stress and work the other one has to deal with, take one of these small issues and let it go. So what you have to pick socks up off the floor, or you have to unblock the drain of hair, we all have our nuisances and annoyances, it’s just about letting go what you can’t really change, who wants to spend their life complaining over the small things anyway? I. know I don’t!
Last but not least and this one is a biggie for me…
PUT YOUR PHONE DOWN!!!
You cannot connect to someone if you are connected to your phone, have phone-free evenings and weekends, agree to leave the phones somewhere else if you’re having a chat, and never in mind sentence whilst still chatting pick up your phone during the conversation, I cannot tell you how rude this is, more importantly, your not actively listening, in fact, it can seem like you are disinterested in the conversation completely.
My husband and I made this rule a long time ago, it came about when we were in a restaurant, he was on his phone pretty much the entire time, I almost walked out, but I remained calm and explained how this made me feel, I explained when we are talking and having a good time we should leave our phones alone and not allow them to interrupt us. He agreed and the rest is history. When we talk we are talking, we are actively listening to one another, we are present and connected.
My husband and I have started to implement a few of the above and have actively started to make each other a priority and made our connection a priority above everything else, I can honestly say I am more in love with my husband than I ever have been, each day our connection and friendship deepens, he is my best friend, my soul mate and my life, I feel happy and content and incredibly blessed. I hope you feel like this too, if not I hope the above helps.
Let me know if you implement any of the above and how this has affected your relationship below in the comments, I would love to hear from you!!!!
Well, have an amazing day!